| Communication Principles How you see yourself can make a great difference in how you communicate. " Every individual exists in a continually changing world of experience of which he( or she) is the center". Many communication scholars and social scientists believe that people are products of how others treat them and of the messages others send them. But every day we experience the centrality of ourselves in communication. A student, for instance, may describe a conflict with a teacher as unfair treatment: "I know my teacher doesn't like the fact that I don't agree with his opinions , and that is why he gave me such a poor grade in that class. " The teacher might say the opposite. Each person may believe that he is correct and that the other person's view is wrong. The concept of self originates in communication. Through verbal and nonverbal symbols,a child leams to accept roles in response to the expectations of others. You establish self-image, the sort of person you believe you are, by how others think of you. Positive, negative,and neutral messages that you receive from others all play a role in determining who you are. Communication itself is probably best understood as a dialogue process. Our understanding of communication comes from our interactions with other people. In a more obvious way,communication involves others in the sense that a competent communicator considers what the other person needs and expects when selecting messages to share. So, the communication begins with the self, as defined largely by others, and involves others , as defined largely by the self. Communication occurs almost every minute of your life. If you are not communicating with yourself ( thinking, planning, reacting to the world around you), you are observing others and drawing inferences from their behavior. Even if the other person did not intend a message for you, you gather observations and draw specific conclusions. A person yawns and you believe that person is bored with your message. A second person looks away from you and you conclude that person is not listening to you. A third person smile ( perhaps because of a memory of a joke he heard recently) and you lieve that he is attracted to you. We are continually picking up meanings from others' behaviors and we are constantly providing behaviors that have communicative value for them. More often than not, you may have hurt someone accidentally and you may have tried to explain that you did not mean that. You may have told the other person that you were sorry for your statement. You may have made a joke out of your rude statement. Nonetheless, your comment remains both in the mind of the other person and in your own mind. You cannot go back in time and erase your messages to others. Communication cannot be reversed(倒退) ,nor can it be repeated. When you tried to re-create the atmosphere , the conversation , and the setting, nothing seemed right. Your second experience with a similar setting and person made far different results.
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