Every family with kids has seen its share of arguments,shouting and complaining.It turns
out that all that conflict serves an important purpose in the development of children.Saying
"no",followed by a temper tantrums (发脾气),just may be an unavoidable part of growing
up.And that's a good thing.These are the first steps toward independence.Even young children
have to challenge their parents sometimes.
     Studies have shown the following:
     Although stressful,conflict is beneficial for children.
     Learning to manage conflict is necessary for a child's development.
     Conflicts during the preschool years occur because children desire even more attention
than parents can or should give.
     If you understand why conflict occurs,it can minimize (最小化) the conflicts between
you and your children.Conflict is a child's attempt to develop a sense of self and how he or
she learns to express needs and ideas.Parents develop and drive this independence by
exposing children to the outside world both formally and informally.
     Conflict can grow out of a difference of opinion or might just be a way to blow off steam
(发泄怒气)．In rare situations,constant conflict between a parent and child can indicate a
deeper emotional problem.Consult your doctor if this seems to be your situation.
     It's important to offer your child choices,which should be determined by age and
developmental level.The more responsible a child is,the more choices he or she gets in reward.
You can threaten your child with punishment,but often offering a choice will better improve
angry situations.Consequences and rewards should have some meaning to your child.
     Often a child's adverse (敌对的) reaction when he or she hears the word "no" can be
avoided by giving the child an explanation as to why you have refused their request.