You must have been troubled by when to say "I love you" because it is one of the greatest puzzles in our life.
What if you say it first and your partner doesn’t love you back? Or if they do say it but you don’t feel they mean it? Being the first to declare your love can be never racking (紧张) and risky and can leave you feeling as vulnerable as a turtle with no shell. But is the person who says it first really in a position of weakness? Doesn’t it pay to hold back, play it cool and wait until the other half has shown their hand faster?
“A really good relationship should be about being fair and being equal,” says psychologist Sidney Crown. “But love is seldom equal.” “All relationships go through power struggles but,” he says, “if a love imbalance continues for years, the rot will set in.” That feeling of “I’ve always loved you more” may be subverted (颠覆，破坏) for a time, but it never goes away completely and it often emerges in squabbling (大声争吵). In love, at least, the silent, withholding type is not always the most powerful. “The strongest one in a relationship is often the person who feels confident enough to talk about their feelings,” says educational psychologist Ingrid Collins. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall agrees. "The one with the upper hand is often the person who takes the initiative.” In fact, the person who says “I love you” first may also be the one who says “I’m bored with you’ first.” Hall believes that much depends on how "I love you" is said and the motivation of the person saying it. Is it said when they’re drunk? Is it said before their partner flies off on holiday, and what it really means is “Please don’ t be unfaithful to me” ? By saying “I love you”, they are really saying “Do you love me?” If so, wouldn’t it just be more honest to say that. Collins agrees that intention is everything. "It’s not what is said, but how it’s said. What it comes down to is the sincerity of the speaker.”
小题1:What is the main idea of this passage?
| A．The importance of "I love you" | B．The meaning of "I love you" |
| C．The time of saying "I love you". | D．The place of saying "I love you" |
小题2:In the first sentence the author means that____________.
| A．it is easy to say "I love you" |
| B．it is hard to say "I love you" |
| C．we have many troubles in our life |
| D．people usually do not know when to say "I love you" |
小题3:According to the expert, a good relationship should be _____________.
| A．fair and equal | B．fair and kind |
| C．powerful and equal | D．confident and fair |
小题4:In the third paragraph, the phrase "with the upper hand" means __________.
| A．being low in spirit | B．having only one hand |
| C．being active | D．being passive |
小题5:What is the most important for you to consider when somebody say "I love you" to you?
| A．The intention. | B．The place. | C．The time. | D．The determination. |
