To forgive may be wonderful, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger. ___1___ Indeed, research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns. “People who forgive show less anger and more hopefulness,” says Dr. Frederic Luskin, who wrote the book Forgive for Good. So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps: Calm yourself. Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love. Don’t wait for an apology. ___2___ Luskin says, “They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don’t see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting a very long time.” Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean coming to terms with the person who upsets you or forgiving his or her action after your quarrel. ___3___ Mentally going over your hurt gives power to the person who brought you pain. “Instead, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.” Luskin says. ___4___ If you attach great importance to that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear and even love. To gain others’ stand, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender’s point of view. ___5___ Research has shown that people who forgive make a good show of more energy, better appetite and better sleeping patterns. Don’t forget to forgive yourself. “For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge." Luskin says, “but it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don’t do it.”
F. Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. G. Forgiveness is not good of people. |